Understanding Headhopping—and Why It Undermines Your Story
To the untrained ear, the term head-hopping might sound like something related to home-brewed beer. But in the world of professional fiction editing, head-hopping refers to a common mistake made by writers who haven’t fully grasped the conventions of point of view (POV).
In fiction, head-hopping occurs when a writer abruptly shifts from one character’s internal perspective to another’s within a scene—often without warning or transition. This creates confusion and breaks the unspoken “pact” between author and reader: the understanding that the story will be told through a consistent narrative lens.
In first-person narration, the POV character is the narrator and typically the protagonist. In close third-person, the narrative filters through one character’s thoughts, perceptions, and emotions—even though it’s told using third-person pronouns. Writers may choose to shift third-person POV from one character to another over the course of a story, or even across different scenes, but when done properly, it requires clear transitions and adherence to certain conventions. Without them, the result is head-hopping.
Why Head-Hopping Fails
What makes head-hopping so damaging is that it disrupts the reader’s immersion. It tends to happen mid-scene—often during dialogue—when the author dips into the thoughts of more than one character without a clear shift. These moments often occur during beats (the short bits of action or internal reaction that occur between lines of dialogue). When beats suddenly reveal what another character is thinking—without first re-establishing the POV—it jars the reader out of the narrative flow and compromises their trust in the storytelling.
This break in the narrative contract may seem minor to the writer, but to readers (and especially editors), it can be a dealbreaker. It signals a lack of command over the craft and weakens the structure and emotional clarity of the scene.
Even Great Writers Do It—So Why Can’t You?
In Self-Editing for Fiction Writers, Renni Browne and Dave King begin their chapter on POV with an example of head-hopping from Larry McMurtry’s Lonesome Dove. They point out that while the book is masterfully written, many readers struggle to stay engaged due to the frequent POV shifts. In one short scene—just 132 words—the point of view changes three times.
For aspiring authors, it’s tempting to see this as a green light: If McMurtry can do it, why can’t I? But this ignores a critical truth about publishing: established authors get more leeway. Their work is often judged by different standards, and their audience may be more forgiving. For writers seeking publication, especially those submitting to agents and editors, head-hopping is still a major red flag—and it could be the reason a strong story gets rejected.
Context, Conventions, and Contemporary Expectations
Head-hopping wasn’t always so frowned upon. In earlier eras, third-person omniscient (the so-called “God perspective”) was a dominant narrative style, and stories routinely moved between characters’ thoughts. But literary conventions evolve. Just as style, structure, and genre expectations change over time, so too do POV norms. In today’s market—particularly in commercial and literary fiction—clarity, intimacy, and consistency of POV are highly valued.
That doesn’t mean omniscient narration is off limits—but it must be used deliberately, skillfully, and transparently. Readers still expect to feel grounded in a scene and oriented within a character’s mind. If you violate that trust without warning or finesse, you risk being dismissed by agents or editors before your story has a chance to shine.
Recommended reading:
- POV Part II: Writing With the Camera in Mind – Using Visual Metaphors to Control Narrative Distance and Voice
- POV Part III: Mastering Third-Person Point of View – A Fiction Writer’s Guide to Third-Person Perspective, from Omniscient to Objective
Looking for feedback on how you’re managing point of view in your novel or guidance on how you can handle viewpoint more effectively? Contact Ross Browne in the Tucson office to work with an experienced editor who can help.
