by Don Rutberg

Excerpted from A Writer’s First Aid Kit

I had completed three children's books but still had no agent to help me sell them to publishers.

The question is: do you want to impress a publisher or an agent? If a publisher loves your book, the book will be published. If an agent loves your work, it only ensures that the book will get pitched to a publisher. That's why I prefer sending queries to publishers; there is only one green light needed prior to publication, not two. What good is it if one hundred agents love your work, but every publisher in the world rejects it? I believe in contacting children's book publishers first and then, after you've had a few small success, contacting agents.

Of course, I believe in any plan that reduces or eliminates the need for agents. Like drugs and guns, it might not be a bad idea to take them off the street.

How long should it take to realize some success in your publishing career? Oh, ten or twenty years. Thirty, tops.

When I composed my query letter to publishers, I knew I was dealing with busy people who considered me a nuisance. I had to get them to like me; to consider me a writer who might be the one in a thousand who, although agentless, had talent and a clue about how the business worked.

I had two quotes hanging by my computer that were staring at me every day. One was by poet Robert Burns, who wrote, "What a gift it would be to see ourselves as others see us." I was fascinated by the quote and tried to fit it into my query letter.

Instead, I decided to write a short story about someone who actually had that gift, hated it, then auld-lang-syned it. (Burns, of course, wrote "Auld Lang Syne.")

I kept the notion in my head, trying to see myself as publishers saw me. I was still a pest in their eyes. So I had to come across as a seasoned, interesting pest.

The other quote, for possible use in my query letter, was penned by Robert Browning. Browning's wife, Elizabeth Bartlett Browning, was the more famous of the writing couple. Robert Browning, however, was completely undaunted by this or by rejection. He wrote that "A man's reach should exceed his grasp." There's an old Eastern European saying, "He didn't know from borscht," which means he kept on doing his thing, right or wrong, successful or not. He kept plugging, even in the face or constant rejection and humiliation. Any writer can relate to that. If you find Browning's, "A man's reach should exceed his grasp" quote meaningless, you're probably not a writer. You may not even be human. Heck, even lawyers live by those words.

I found a way to include Browning's quote in my query letter to publishers. I also included information about my small publishing successes (children's books, stage plays, museum books, magazine articles, optioned screenplays, and other material).

A sample of my query letter follows. I may be more specific in future letters, in case the reader never finds time to read my project list.

Before I write the letter, I write comments to myself. Example: “They publish nonfiction only; hobby books, humor, nature, sports. Send complete books: pigeon, onion, hot peppers.”

Actual Sample Query Letter

Date

Name, address, e-mail, etc

Name of Editor

NAME OF PUBLISHER

Street Address

City, State, Zip

Dear (editor's name):

As you probably know, Robert Browning thought a man's reach should exceed his grasp and was known for being undaunted by failure. I felt his spirit inside me today and thought I'd contact you.

Although I've been writing since 1980, when I received an MFA from USC's film school, it's only been recently that I've had my work published on a consistent basis. Whether it's luck meeting preparedness, talent meeting tenacity, or a blind squirrel finding a few acorns, I'm happy to experience it.

In January, 2002, shortly after my children's book Running Through Kenya was published, the National Liberty Museum published my book about philanthropist Harry Stern. The next month, Stained Glass Magazine published my profile on artist Maurice Gareau. In March, Plays Magazine published my children's stage play, "A Leprechaun Named Levity." Plays also published my, "Satchel Paige ... Did What?!" last month.

This summer, (XYZ) Magazine published, "Where Did The Ball Go?" about my first golf outing (which was as painful as the Inquisition and took almost as long).

Last spring, Emmy Magazine published an article about a TV commercial I wrote and produced. When Emmy's check arrived, I shouted, "I'd like to thank the Academy!"

I always wanted to say that.

I would appreciate your consideration of the enclosed stories, all described on the enclosed project list. If you would like to read any other project on the list, please advise me and I would be happy to send it to you.

When I'm not writing on spec, I teach children's book writing and screenwriting at Bucks County Community College near Philadelphia.

I look forward to your reply and to one day saying, "I'd like to thank my publisher!" Until then, I'll remain (for the most part) undaunted.

Best regards,

Don Rutberg

encls./projlist, sase

Analysis of the Query Letter

In the first paragraph of my query letter, I let publishers know that I will be undaunted by any rejection. This is the opposite of telling them that, if they brush me off, they will be responsible for my swan dive off a high-rise balcony. I try to put them at ease by acknowledging the notion that my odds of success with them are very low ... but it's okay.

It's like approaching a beautiful woman or dapper man in a nightclub. Hey, they must be looking for something or they wouldn't be standing there, open to solicitations. If you walk up to them with a smile on your face and cheerfully say, "I know you're very picky, but if you like what you see, let's dance," you might acquire a worthwhile friend.

In the following paragraph, I take the advice of screenwriter William Goldman (who wrote "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid" and many other movies). Goldman suggests that a writer should exude supreme confidence and enthusiasm in combination with total humility. It's a tough union of personality traits; like saying, "I am bigger than Elvis ... and, by the way, I'm also your humble servant."

So I humbly describe my small successes early in the query letter. I adapt these paragraphs for the specific reader. If it's a children's book publisher, I highlight my published juvenile works; if it's a magazine editor, I tell him or her about my published articles. Nonfiction publishers learn that I write books for a local museum. When approaching movie producers, I make things up—no, I tell about the scripts that I've optioned, sold or written for hire. (I conveniently omit the fact that, so far, none have been produced.)

I inform publishers that I'm a writing instructor, to build on my credibility. Who knows if that means anything to them.

When I mention thanking the Academy after Emmy Magazine's check arrived and how I always wanted to say that, I'm only trying to inject some humor. (My friends all laughed when I told them.)

A few sentences later, I bring back the "Academy" quote by telling them I'd like to thank them someday.

Finally, I bring back the Browning quote; telling them I'm undaunted ... for the most part. I'm admitting that I don't take rejection as well as I claimed but I am working on it.

Examples of Bad Query Letters

It's not easy to purposely write something bad. That was the problem with the movie, “Ishtar.” The writers were trying to show that Warren Beatty and Dustin Hoffman were terrible performers. It played less as ironic comedy and more as a terrible act.

Here are some sentences that will turn an editor or agent against you:

• My friends all say that I’m a great writer.
• My play was performed at my cousin’s house.
• You are crazy if you don’t sign me up right away.
• If you don’t get back to me within a week, I will show up at your door.
• If you teach me what you know, I can be great someday.
• I want you to find me a writing partner.
• I need money desperately so I wrote something yesterday.
• I’ve written a satire about (name of group) because I hate these people.

And, of course, my all-time favorite; an actual letter that came to my literary agency’s door and read:

· “I am practically illiterate but I think you’ll like my work.”

A bad query letter offends the reader. It makes blanket assertions and unreasonable demands.

Put yourself in editors’ shoes. They are busy people and have seen thousands of unsolicited query letters in their careers, most of which were a waste of time.

Try to stand out in a good way. Most of your competitors will stand out in a bad way or blend in with the bland crowd. You must be different, clever, likeable, and professional. Before you mail a query letter, ask yourself if you’re are presenting yourself as all of those things. If not, try again.

Tell them why your story is unique and worth telling; why it will be a commercial success. Don’t assume that they will “get it” right away, after reading a paragraph or two. I receive many rejection letters that begin, “Your book is fascinating and deserves to be published” or “It’s a story worth telling.” So getting a publisher to agree that the story is worth telling is only the first test. You can receive an A+ on the test and still fail the course.

I once received a reply from a query letter that included the sentence, “Your letter was the best piece of writing I have seen in a long time.” The woman who sent me that letter was a book publisher. And she still didn’t want to work with me!

In January, 2006, I received a rejection letter from a children’s book senior editor that read, “This is absolutely hilarious!”

So, a good query can only open a door slightly. A bad query letter will make it seem as if you don’t exist. Then, you’ll get all depressed and stop writing, stop improving. It will make you say, “What’s the use?”

Although you’re a terrific writer, you’ll probably wind up saying, “What’s the use?” at some point in your career. If you want to have some hope to build on, write professional query letters. They will lead to getting your work read, the biggest step on your journey to publishing success.

Don Rutberg is a graduate of USC’s film school (MFA, 1980). He has written books and articles for the National Liberty Museum. He has also published stage plays, magazine articles, children's books and comic books; sold screenplays and written/produced children's TV shows and TV commercials. He is a writing professor at Holy Family University in Philadelphia, PA. Check out his latest book, A Writer’s First Aid Kit, from which the above article has been excerpted, at www.writersfirstaidkit.com or at Barnes & Noble. If he doesn’t offend you in this book, he claims that he didn’t do it on purpose.

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